This is different to what I normally post. The views on my last five blogs reached 2,000+ views (on my other blog site!) and that is huge for me. I was thinking what can I do for this mile stone. So, I thought and I’ve decided to finally touch on a subject that has caused me lots of pain and heartbreak. My ex-boyfriend. Who I am not scared to name and shame. But he could get pissy. So, I will only provide his first name. Paolo.
He and I dated for Approximately 6 months. I loved him and gave him my heart. Which he tore to shreds. He ripped it apart and stomped all over it. It’s hard to talk about. But he was abusive in a way. Emotionally anyway. He’d lie to me constantly then when he was caught out, he’d twist it and turn himself into the victim. Made me believe I was wrong to be mad at his lies. He said my “nagging” was why he lied. Just for clarification. The things he lied about.
1. He lied that he was employed
2. He lied about being unemployed and searching for work. (He was caught out for this but I was just “nagging” him. Even though I’d ask why he lied about having a job and that if he was ashamed, he did not need to be)
3. He lied about being depressed (he was found out for this too)
4. He lied about attempting suicide and even created a fake doctor’s note.
5. He lied about me to others and created vile rumors that resulted in me being bullied and stalked by random accounts for nearly a year.
That last one. He actually started the rumors and during the bullying. We talked on Skype and he ranted about how unfair it was that people would do that to me. That it was wrong and that I shouldn’t provoke them into sending nasty shit. I reminded him they were attacking me for all the stuff he said and did to them. Which he then again turned on me and said If I behaved better on Twitter it would not have happened. Just kept saying everything that went down was on me. It wasn’t on me. I was not the one provoking them over and over. He’d say things to them. Then they would tag me in his attacks. I did not realise until months after him dumping me all the shit he truly did.
The worst for me was finding out he lied about his suicide attempt after I opened up about mine. I believed him for so long. Until it was proven he had lied about everything. Even after he broke up with me and I blocked him and moved on. The group of bullies still attacked me. They even started attacking innocent people on Twitter saying they were all Paolo. I was never sure and I knew Paolo was stalking my accounts. Every day I got 100+ mentions telling me what a Psycho I was. How Paolo and I were perfect for each other. Paolo had caused all of the problems; all the evil messages were from him. Yet they were lumping me in with the Psycho. Calling me insane and evil. Eventually I was Informed this person did this every year. She would choose her victims and I am starting to believe Paolo was her boyfriend at one point and she was angry. Maybe he cheated on her too. But she turned bitter and attacked innocent people because of it.
I know his ex-girlfriend made comments about him being a psycho and blocked me. Would’ve been nice if the bitch warned me. But she didn’t. So, I had to go through hell like her. But Unlike her I’m not hiding what happened. I’m talking about it here. I mean it still hurts a lot. He hurt me so badly and I don’t plan to give my heart away to anyone not for a long time. He took the pain of my suicide attempt and turned it into another way for him to get attention and sympathy. He kept saying how evil and nasty his ex was. Always nagging him always getting angry at him for everything he did that she deemed wrong. He said everything she did wrong and he got sympathy for it. But when I talked to the person who said they had no idea he had a girlfriend? … She did. She was part of that bullies’ group. But anyway, we talked and she said she showed me everything he said about his ex-girlfriend that he broke up with six months ago. The day we started dating…. He said everything that he said to me. Only the dates where changed. He is a serial cheater and liar and I’m glad to be free of his manipulations. But others are still singled to by him. If I could I would warn them all about him. But I cannot and luckily some women saw through his fake charm. He tried to date other women while dating me and the other women. The third person was not having it and made it clear which I bet that pissed him off. Which is funny to think about. He acts like a baby when he does not get what he wants. I never noticed while we dated. I think I fell hard and he seemed to love me too. Which was fake but I never knew that then.
Please be careful everyone. Love who you are and don’t let anyone bring you down or try make it seem like you are in the wrong over things they did! They do not deserve to be loved if they hurt you. But I know it is hard to realise that is what is happening.
Love to you all and thanks for all the views!.
Rose xx
Depression Does Not Define Me 